


Maker's Champion

by Steph1roth



Series: Adventures in Thedas [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dragon Age Fusion, DLC Spoilers, Dragon Age Spoilers, Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, F/F, F/M, Haven (Dragon Age), Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-30 18:03:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13957062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph1roth/pseuds/Steph1roth
Summary: After ten years Warden Amell was sent as an escort for the mages going to the Divine's Conclave in Haven.  Her first hand experiences with the abuses mages faced all around Thedas was invaluable for the Conclave.





	1. Haven

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for having to edit some things in the story. This story was written before some Lore was released and some things had to change based on Lore that I found. 
> 
> Main thing that changed is Warden Amell wasn't completely Tranquil. As she is technically a possessed mage and those who are touched by a spirit or possessed have Tranquility broken, it only makes that sense that someone who is already possessed cannot be made Tranquil. Not truly. As too not change large parts of the story I modified this that the Rite of Tranquility didn't completely work. It made the veil harder for her to pierce and muted her emotions making them harder to access. She could not cast during this time and most spells fizzled.

_Every waking moment of my life I spend with one foot in the Fade.  When sleep claims me, I slip effortlessly into the Fade as if it’s a second skin.  It is always the same place.  The same simple, wooden chair waits for me in the center of a circular room with white washed walls and to the side, ever since I drank that vial of DarkSpawn blood, a shadowy section creeping out.   Within the shadows something stirred, something connected to me, but I couldn’t remember how, glowing eyes stared out at me howling a song that shook me to the core.  It called.  Oh, how it called.  But just as I was going to touch the creature within a strong man pulls me back._

_Staring at the faintly glowing echo I try to place him.  I can’t remember.  I know him, but his name escapes me, like so many other things I’ve forgotten.  I used to dream once.  To feel.  What happened?  Looking away from the shape I try to make sense of my surroundings.  I know this is the Fade, but how I got here was a mystery, why were there so many holes in my memory?  Why did my hand hurt?  Lifting it into my vision a garish dark hole rests where I know flesh should be.  It is like a door.  Both pulling and pushing.  Finally, my visions rest back on the shape that still held my arm._

_"Why am I here?"_

**_You are a mage. Your dreams always bring you here._ ** _It answered._

_My eyes dropped to where its hand touched me.  I could feel it creeping into my skin, part of me wondered if I should fight it but the stronger part welcomed him back.  Welcomed wasn’t a strong enough word.  Craved.  Sought. Yes, I wanted this._

_"What happened to me?"_

_I had begun to sway with the influx of memories, thoughts, feelings, and power.  He held me fast as whatever connection had been severed was renewed._

**_They tried to make you tranquil._ ** _His voice sounded sad._

_"Who?"_

**_A man you already killed._ **

_"How am I here?"_ _I asked watching him._

_My face was wet.  I was crying.  So much had happened.  So much pain.  What had they done to me?  It was far more than simply trying to make me Tranquil.  That man tried to destroy me.  All of me._

_He stood there watching me.  Silently he brought his hand to my face.  I felt his fingers gently wipe my tears away. Was it rage? Or sorrow?  Confusion?  Maybe all of them.  I stared at my tingling hand.  That must be the how._

_"There are holes in my memory."_ _My gaze rising to the blank spots on the walls.  Huge, jagged chunks missing which left gaping holes in my mind. The spirit shook its head. "Yours also."_

**_I know you are back in the physical world and that you are safe for the moment. Our time here will be short.  You will be waking soon._ **

_He lightly drug his fingers down the length of my arm until reaching the palm of my hand.  Looking up at him my eyes never left his._

_I sighed._

_"I cannot forget you, Urthemiel."_ _The dragon poked its head into the light but remained largely in the shadows. I held his muzzle lovingly.  He cooed his song in my ear.  It brought me both pain and insurmountable joy.  "Forgive me for leaving you alone for so long.  You won’t be alone ever again." Gently I pushed his head back into the shadows watching with morbid fascination to the clinging miasma dripping from my fingers upon their removal from the shadows._

_I sat heavily in my solitary chair and closed my eyes._

* * *

 

Slowly she faded into wakefulness.  First it was pain that she felt.  Burning, blinding pain from her hand.  Then the cold bite of stone beneath her knees and steel at her wrists.  Followed then by sounds.  Shuffling of boots.  Scuffing of swords in their sheaths and low, blurred voices.  She was laying on the ground in the center of a dark room dimly lit by torches and surrounded by armed men.  Without moving she scanned the room with her good eye.  She sighed in relief when her eyes laid on her sword leaning against a nearby wall. 

The sounds of her movement had the guards on edge.  Ignoring them she slowly pushed herself into a sitting position.  She wasn’t sure how she got here.  Making herself as comfortable as she could be sitting on a cold stone floor with her hands chained she took a better look at the room.  There were maybe ten guards in here with her and about half their swords drawn. 

A crackling sound brought her attention to her hand.  The black mark on her palm pulsed.  Sending inky veins out.  Spreading like the Blight.  It hurt.  A lot.  Focusing on the sensation she barely registered the voices around her or the hurried steps of one of the men leaving.  She almost cried when the sensation passed leaving her painfully empty.  It was all too overwhelming.  The sudden flood of everything.  Threatening to drown her.  Swallowing hard she closed her eyes tightly focusing on her breathing and tuning out all other sounds. 

She heard voices again.  Agitated ones and the slamming of a door.  A rough hand broke her concentration.  Shaking her and shattering the fragile focus she had.  Her eyes flew open, wide and unfocused, she tried to focus on the woman speaking to her, but the world was pressing in too much. 

“Casandra, stop!”

A familiar voice pierced through the cacophony of noise and she was able to focus on a single face.  She blinked several times staring at the white hood, red hair, eyes, and lips speaking to her.  Hands found their way to each side of her face firmly, but gently forcing her to look them in the face.  Finally, her face came into view. 

“…Leliana…” 

“Shhhh.”  She said softly, softer than Casandra had ever heard her speak to anyone. “You remember how to breathe, yes?”

The question brought a laugh from her lips.  A soft chuckle more like. 

“Breathing I can do.”  She whispered breathlessly. “Water?”

Leliana nodded.

“Give me your skin.” 

“Leliana, who is this- “Casandra asked but was interrupted by Leliana.

“Your skin. Please.”

Casandra handed the skin over reluctantly staring at her with cold, hard eyes.  Leliana forced her to stay focused on her.

“Drink.”

Even the satisfaction of slaking her thirst threatened to overwhelm her.  Sent her into dizzying circles, but with slow even breaths it passed faster than before. Leliana pressed the skin in her hands and wrapped her fingers around it.

“This shouldn’t be possible.” Leliana’s voice was both distressed and relieved.

“Tell me who she is and why we shouldn’t kill her.”  Casandra demanded. “Everyone is dead and she’s the only suspect.”

“She is the Hero of Ferelden, Casandra, the Warden who defeated the Blight.”  Leliana’s admission stunned Casandra into silence and both women turned to the figure sitting on the floor clutching the water skin.

Another crack from the Breath shook the air around them and caused the mark on her hand to flare to life.  It was hard enough to make her cry out.  It was like being struck by lightning.  The fog disappeared, burned away by light and fire.  She let out a sharp breath.

“How did I get here?” Her voice was a low hoarse growl through the pain that flared through her arm pulsing up her neck before dissipating in her milky green eye.  She stared up at them both her breathing labored. 

“Faith, do you remember how this began?” 

“No.”  Faith shook her head. “There are…holes…in my memory.  Jagged ones.”  Closing her eyes tight she tried to remember. “All I can remember is running. Running from something I can’t remember.  Then there was a woman.  She reached out for me and then nothing.  I woke up here.  Like this.”  She lifted her hands as emphasis.

“A woman?”  Leliana echoed her words. “You can remember nothing else?”

“I remember plenty, just not the answers you seek Leliana.”

She sat back on her heels as the women moved towards the door talking in low tones.  The pain had started to subside again.  Taking a long slow drink of the skin, she felt well enough to stand.  She heard the guards shuffle in response to the movement and caught the end of their conversation.

“Go to the forward camp, Leliana.  I will take her to the rift.”

Leliana was resistant to leave.  Staring at Faith as she stood on unsteady feet.

“Go on, dove, I’m in fine company.”  Faith watched her, not because she didn’t trust her, but because she felt like an anchor.  Someone to keep her firmly grounded as she readjusted to being **whole**. “What did happen?”  She asked once Leliana had gone.

“It would be easier to show you.”  Casandra’s voice took a softer tone as she removed the shackles and bound her hands with rope.


	2. Biting Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra takes Faith Amell through the village of Haven and we meet the Warden-Commander's Captain of the Silver Order, Taika.

With Cassandra’s help Faith stood, arms still bound in front of her, but at least the bars were gone.  Stepping out from the dark holding room she was in into the brilliant daylight stung Faith’s eye.  She hissed in pain, recoiling just as the massive greenish tempest thundered in the sky.  Pain shot up her arm and into her skull settling just behind her ruined eye.  She felt the heat in her face radiating out of the spidering scars left by the Joining ritual all those years ago.

“We call it the “The Breach”.”  Cassandra explained.  Faith tried to listen through the burning pain that her expanding mark caused. “It’s a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour.  It’s not the only such rift.  Just the largest.  All were caused by the explosion at the Conclave.”

“I’ve never known explosions to do that.”  Struggling to keep her breath under control Faith nodded. 

“This one did.”  She said closing the distance between her and the swaying Warden. “Unless we act, The Breach may grow until it swallows the world.”

Before Faith could reply The Breach thundered again.  The shock wave it’s expansion sent through the air reacted with the Mark on Faith’s hand.   An ashen color rushed to consume the healthy flesh of her hand.  Faith could not control the scream that escaped her lips.  As painful as it was each pulse brought her further back into this world.  She knew it was killing her, but it was also making her whole again.  She focused on the woman kneeling before her, her breath coming out in hard, laboring gasps.

“Each time The Breach expands, your mark spreads…” a pause” and it is killing you. It may be the key to stopping this, but there isn’t much time.”

“The key to doing what?”  Faith asked between gasping breaths as the pain subsided.

“Closing The Breach.  Whether that’s possible is something we shall discover shortly.” Cassandra regarded the panting mage with what was almost sympathy. “It is our only chance, however. And yours.”

“Where do I sign up?”  Faith replied some of her mirth returning.  She even chuckled through the pain.

“Then you’ll…?”

“Cassandra, that is your name yes?”  when she nodded Faith continued. “I made an oath many years ago to protect Thedas from all threats.  To serve the people until my last breath.  If that means marching into the mouth of an Archdemon or up to that,” Faith nodded to the Breach. “then so be it.  My life belongs to the people.”

Faith watched the look of surprise on Cassandra’s face turn slowly into one of hope.  Once again, she helped the Warden stand.  Cassandra marched her through the town of Haven.  Faith remembered this place well but didn’t fight the hand that was in reality keeping her from swaying on her feet.  She was running off fumes of a slowly returning fuel.  It was flooding back into her with each pulse but the mark greedily ate all but a trickle up.  People glared daggers at her, some spat or threw half eaten food at her.

“They have decided your guilt.  They need it.” Cassandra explained as they walked.  She tried to shield her from the worst of the people with her hard stares.  “The people of Haven mourn our Most Holy, Divine Justinia, head of the Chantry.  The Conclave was hers.”

For the most part her presence kept the mourners from harassing them too much.  One particularly good arm, brave soul, beamed the Warden straight in the temple with a fairly large rock.  The blow was hard enough to knock her off her feet and out of Cassandra’s grasp.  Leaving her side Cassandra stepped away to talk to the gathering crowd.  Struggling to sit up Faith found a sturdy set of arms hauling her up.  She almost cried in relief seeing the Captain of the Silver Order.

“Taika.”  Her voice a hoarse whisper.

“Warden-Commander.”  He said softly pressing a piece of cloth to her temple. “It’s not true, is it?”

“What does your faith tell you?”  she asked quietly.

“Who are you?”  Cassandra demanded before he could answer.

“Captain Taika, of the Silver Order of Amaranthine.  At your service.”  He introduced himself.  He would have bowed but currently was holding a piece of cloth to the Warden’s temple.

Cassandra looked at him suspiciously.  Captain Taika stared back unwilling to back down.  Of Course, she’d heard of the Silver Order.  They were famous in Ferelden during the months after the Blight ended keeping order where the Crowd could not easily go.

“Taika…”

“I left your side once Warden-Commander, on your orders, I will not do it again.”  He said firmly.  She smiled at his insubordinate statement.

“I suppose that is up to my captor.”  Faith side looking at Cassandra. “If things are as dire you as say we could use another sword-arm. “

Cassandra made a unlady-like, snorting grunt. “Fine.”

She continued to lead them through Haven in silence brooding at the addition of another.  Once they were out of the sight of the masses of people watching them Taika pulled the cloth away to look at her head. 

“She needs stitches.”  He called to Cassandra. “Give me a moment and I’ll have this closed.”

He watched Cassandra until she nodded.  Taika moved Faith off to the side of the bridge seating her on the thick stone railing.  Proceeding to clean the wound and stitch it closed with careful strokes.

“Where are the others?” 

“In Amaranthine and the Keep.”  Taika answered.

“You came here alone?”

“No.  Several of us split into pairs when we heard what happened here.”  He looked down at her. “We were prepared to bring your body, or what was left of it home for burial, all we found was your sword.  Miles of away from the Temple.  We were about to leave when we heard of a survivor.”

Faith felt Cassandra’s eyes on them.  Taika followed her gaze before cutting the remaining suture.

“Trusting one, isn’t she?”

“She has every reason to be suspicious.  She has a good heart.” Faith patted his shoulder using him to stand.  “Thank you, Taika.”

“Ready?”  Cassandra asked, irritation showing in her voice. She cut the bound that held Faith’s hands together. “There will be a trial.  I can promise no more.”

“As I’ll ever be.” Faith smiled. “Life is one trial after another.”


	3. The Rift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra takes Taika and the Warden-Commander to the Rift.

Taika stayed at Faith’s side following after Cassandra’s marching pace.  She often glanced back to make sure they were still there.  Faith was struggling and often bumped into Taika as she stumbled on the ruined cobbles.  She wondered how she was going to muster the strength to close anything if she could barely walk without help. 

“How is she?”  Cassandra asked once they reached the bridge that crossed over a frozen river.

“Dying.”  The Captain replied bluntly keeping his expression neutral he walked over to Faith. “We need to keep going, Warden-Commander.”

Nodding Faith grasped his arm to lean on.  Snaking his arm around her waist he was half carrying her when they continued across the bridge.  They only made it halfway across before a massive green fireball hit the bridge.  Taika did his best to shield Faith as the stone collapsed beneath them.  He landed hard on his back with her on top of him absorbing the worst of the impact and denting his armor so badly he could hardly breathe.

Cassandra landed more gracefully, not having taken a hit to protect someone, rolling light into her feet.  Brandishing her shield, she yelled at them. “Get behind me!” as the demons appeared.

Beneath her Taika has taken the brunt of the fall.  Luckily the worst of his injuries was a broken arm and a heavily bruised back.  It could have been much worse.  Unfortunately, the demons saw this as ample opportunity to attack.  Forcing herself off Taika she ignored the pain in her body and Taika’s protests to her taking a defensive stance. 

Growing she forced out all distractions but the demons threatening her.  Digging deep into herself she called upon the spirit of power.  The spirit answered her call easily.  The mark made access to this world easy.  Its hunger nearly overwhelmed her in her weakened state, Faith remained enough in control to loose the spirits hunger on the closest demon. A yellowish-white streak snaked out from her palm and struck the demon in the chest.  Its scream caught in its chest as its life force was greedily devoured.  Normally the spirit would simply share its power but through the mark it consumed the demon entirely transferring its energy to Faith.

It energized her.  Returning strength to her weakened muscles and giving her eyes a strange blue glow.  She heard Taika behind her gasp.  Sparring a look behind she smiled at Taika.  The second demon took this opportunity to strike thinking its target distracted.  Only Faith was ready for the demon.  Its claws banged harmlessly against a glittering shield that had materialized on Faith’s arm.  It was wreathed in red light and elvish runes.  In her free hand was a elvish sword its make not see in this world in a millennia.

It screamed at her.  Renewing its attacks with vigor and savagery.

Faith used her shield to guard against its rending claws twisting out of reach a graceful swing cleaved the demons arm from its body.  Howling in anger and pain it vomited a stream of foul energy at her that was harmlessly batted away with her shield.  Seizing the opening the demon left with its vomiting attack Faith let her shield disappear.  Taking both hands to her sword she put all her strength behind the blow that cleaved straight through the demon and embedded into the ice.

It was about this time that Cassandra finished her demon turning to see her prisoner armed.  She marched straight up to Faith with her sword pointed at her heart.

“Drop your weapon!”  she demanded.

“What weapon?”  Faith asked, the sword disappeared when she let go and the only evidence it had been there was the slice in the ice.  Faith stood there staring at Cassandra.

“What is wrong with your eyes?”

“Nothing.”  Faith said. “A side effect of the Joining.”

Cassandra’s next question was interrupted by Taika.

“Warden-Co…” Taika coughed trying to sit up.

Emboldened by the demon’s energy she moved with more grace and confidence now.  Cassandra watched her carefully amazing that she would turn her back on her.  Faith knelt before Taika taking his dagger and cutting the bindings that held his breastplate on.

“There is little I do for your armor, but I can mend your arm.” Faith told him, her voice stronger now, though the glow had dimmed in her eyes.  “This will hurt while I set it.”

Nodding, Taika gritted his teeth while she set his arm with a sharp tug.  To his credit he only grunted loudly.  The sound of crunching bone made Cassandra wince.  Faith heard Cassandra gasp behind her when a bluish glow surrounded the palm of her hand transferring to Taika’s arm when she touched him.

“Warden- “he began but she cut him off.

“Good as new.”  She said helping _him_ stand with a wink.

* * *

 

“We're getting close to the rift.  You can hear the fighting.”

Faith indeed could hear the shouts of warriors, the electric hisses and gurgles of the demons, she could _feel_ them in her arm and in the socket behind her eye.  It tingled and burned all at the same time causing the hairs on her arms and back of her neck to stand on end.  Cassandra picked up the pace.   They happened upon soldiers fighting more demons. 

Her earlier wariness forgotten, for the moment, Faith rushed forward vaulting off the debris of a wagon.  Summoning the Spirit of Valor, she’d befriended while at the Circle, the spirit took shape of a greatsword glittering in crystalline glory in the eerie green light cast by the Breach. She cleaved the first demon nearly in two hardly waiting for the startled soldier to recover before hurling herself into the next opponent.

Cassandra was surprised at the sudden change and the feirocity in which she fought. She’d heard stories about the Hero of Ferelden, they all had, but everyone wondered how much was true.  Cassandra began to think that not much was exaggerated.  Taika hung back.  Without his armor he was vulnerable, but was loath to leave her alone with the Seeker, he didn’t trust that she would not kill her outright.  Instead he set about getting the wounded to safety while the others dispatched the demons. 

  The battle had only just finished when someone grabbed her hand and wretched into in the rift.  The rift ripped power through her, the sudden feeling of her soul being torn out caused her to growl-scream in response, but she could not pull her hand free until the rift closed with a auditable snap.

“Unhand me!” She demanded and yanked her hand free of the elf that held it. Once she realized that she wasn’t going to be hurt she was able to look him in the eye.  “What just happened there?”

“Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand.”  he explained “I theorized that mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake – and it seems I was correct.”

“Meaning it could also close The Breach itself.”  Cassandra stated.

“Possibly.” he answered.

Faith stood back rubbing her hand.  First the war and now this.  She almost wished for the simple relief of being Tranquil.  The elf turned and addressed her though he did give her a curious look.

“What?” 

“It seems you hold the key to our salvation.”

“I meant the look you were giving me.”  She clarified.

The elf was about to speak when another, a dwarf, behind them spoke up.  Faith turned and saw another face she recognized, though she did not expect he would remember her.  They only met once and it was in passing during a battle.

“Good to know! Here I thought we'd be ass-deep in demons forever.”  he turned and smiled at her, it was a disarming smile.  For a moment she almost smiled back. “Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tag-along.”  he finished winking at Cassandra.

“Were you here for the Conclave?” Faith asked.

“Was that a serious question?”  the elf asked chuckling.

“Technically I'm a prisoner, just like you.” He answered. 

Faith nodded and turned to Cassandra. She had this more disgusted look on her face while talking to him. Faith had stopped listening to them at this point instead focusing on The Breach in the sky and thanking the Maker quietly that the feeling had begun to return to her fingers.   It was only when Cassandra made a disgusted noise and walked past that her returned to the present. She was tired. She could feel the fatigue gnawing at her again, the energy from the demon was fading.

“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions.  I am pleased to see that you still live.”

“He means, 'I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.'” Varric interjected before she could speak. 

“Thank you.  You seem to know the most about what is going on.”  Faith tried to keep the fatigue and anger out of her voice.

“Like you, Solas is an Apostate.”  Cassandra added.

Faith was about to speak with she wasn't an apostate but a Grey Warden, but she thought better of it.  Cassandra did not believe that she was who Leliana said she was and it did not matter.  She opted to remain silent and let them speak.

“Technically all mages area now apostates, Cassandra.”  Solas reminded her. “My travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade, far beyond the experience of any circle mage.  I came to offer whatever help I can give to close the Breach.  If it is not closed, we are all doomed, regardless of origin.”

Faith stared at him.  He may have been correct when talking about _other_ circle mages, but she didn’t start out that way.  She’d been wandering in the Fade since she was five years old making deals with spirits and demons alike their names embossed on her skin.  She left all those things unsaid, it didn’t matter in the end, as long as they world was safe she’d be content to let others think they knew more. 

“You may call me Faith.”  she introduced herself quietly.  “If I am able to I will close the Breach.” 

“Cassandra, you should know:  the magic involved here is unlike any I have seen.  Your prisoner is a mage, but I have a hard time believe any mage having that kind of power. “

“Understood.  We must get to the forward camp quickly.” She said taking point and leading them down the path to the forward camp.

“Well, Bianca's excited!”  he said enthusiastically.

She stood there for a moment staring off into nothing. 


	4. The Temple of Sacred Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've made it finally to the temple and the Breach.

Faith was quiet until they reached the bridge content to letting them talk while she focused on moving forward as the stolen energy from the demon slipped hungrily from her.  It was a temporary reprieve from the slow, agonizingly painful death that this mark seemed to have in store for her.  By the time they reached the bridge, however, she was leaning heavily in Taika.  Her breath coming in heavy, labored bursts.  Finally, he pulled her arm over his shoulder and with his free arm he held her close.

“Hold on a little while longer, Faith.”  Taika said quietly, she must have looked back if he was using her name. 

“I know.” She whispered while they were crossing the bridge.

“Ah, here they come.”  Faith heard a man with a surly voice announce.

“You made it.  Chancellor Roderick, this is –“

“I know who she is.”  he snapped cutting her off. “As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I hereby order you to take this criminal to Val Royeaux to face execution.”

She felt Taika’s grip on her tighten.  She didn’t have the strength to fight off anyone who wanted to take her anywhere.  She barely had the strength to stand as Taika was all but carrying her now.  She swallowed hard, watching the exchange, she was suddenly glad that the surely Seeker was on their side.

“ _Order Me?_ ”  she said disgustedly “You are a glorified clerk.  A bureaucrat!”

“Taika, help me sit.”

 Faith said tuning them out.  She couldn’t focus on more than one thing right now and that was staying alive.  Not that she had much to add to this conversation. Relinquishing his hold on her he slowly lowered her to the stone base of the bridge.  Where he knelt in front of her.

“You’re dying.”  He said softly taking her marked hand.

“Not by choice.” Faith chuckled, her hand laying limply in her grasp. “Some water please.”

“Yeah.”

He let her go reluctantly looking over only when the man’s voice rose. _Jusitina is dead!  We must elect a replacement, and obey her on the matter!_ Grabbing a skin off the table he ignored the looks from the soldiers.

“She doesn’t look so good.”  He heard the dwarf comment when he stepped near.

“She’s dying, I’d expect not.”  Taika said solemnly.

“Shit.”

“Shit, indeed.” Taika answered taking the skin over to where he left her.

She was as he left her save her head was leaning back against the cold, hard stone and her eyes were closed.  She looked too still and pale, one might think she was gone save to swallow rise and fall of her chest.

“Faith.” He urged quietly pushing the skin in her hands. “drink, its not water, but it will help with the pain.”

“Thank you.”  holding the skin took more effort than she wanted but she managed to take a long pull, coughing as it burned all the way down, warming her once it hit her belly. “Oh that’s good.”

“It is wise for to be drinking that?”  Solas asked.

“She’s dying.” Taika said, a little too loudly, as their conversation at the table stopped for a moment. “Does it matter if she died drunk or sober?”

She heard the break in his voice.

“Hey.”  She said softly, grasping Taika’s arm. “It’s not the first time I’ve been dying and I imagine it won’t be the last.” He turned and looked at her.  “Now I need you to be strong soldier ‘cause I can’t do this on my own.  Saving my strength for the big push.  So, unless you can find me another demon you gotta keep it together.”

“Demon?” Solas asked. 

The question garnered him a defensive look from Taika.

“Nothing you need to worry about Solas.”  She said. “Taika, help me up.”

Leaning down he lifted her up by the waist holding her tightly to his side with his other arm protectively around her.  She looked half-dead by the time he reached the table with her.  She let Taika hold her weight while she listened and drank, the spirits took the edge off the worst of the pain.

 “Must get to the Temple.  It's the quickest route.” 

“But not the safest.”  Leliana spoke up.  “The soldiers and provide a distract while we go through the mountains.”

“We lost contact with an entire squad in the mountains, it’s too risky.” 

“Listen to me.  Abandon this now before more lives are lost!”  The chancellor pleaded with her.

The Breach pulsed again.  She cried out.  It was a pitiful sound that echoed across the bridge.  Taika held onto her tighter keeping her standing upright as she sagged against him.  Standing behind them Solas saw him guiding her hand under his gambeson and whisper something in her ear.  He saw a light blue glow, though chose to say nothing, even as he heard Taika inhale sharply. 

She looked up at them.  She smiled at Leliana between panting breaths.  She licked her lips as Cassandra began to ask her a question.

“What?”  she asked. “It is getting hard to focus, forgive for asking you to repeat yourself, but dying takes a lot of work.”

“Which path do you think we should take?”

“You are asking me?”  she asked chuckling.

“As we cannot decide ourselves and it is you we must keep alive.”  Cassandra told her.

“I say we charge.  I've never been one to hide from a fight.  I won't survive long enough for your trial.  Whatever happens, happens now.” Faith told them.

“Leliana, bring everyone left in the valley.  Everyone.”  Cassandra told her.

“On your head be the consequences, Seeker.” The Chancellor told her as they left the bridge and entered the valley.

* * *

 

“Demons ahead.”  Solas cried as they passed through the stone arch of a ruin structure.

The Seeker nodded and took point.  As they neared the area the sounds of battle could be heard.  A group of soldiers were hard pressed by demons and a rift lay open in the center of the clearing. Faith stayed in the back still clinging to Taika’s side. She shifted in his grasp, sweat dripping off her brow and down the back of her neck.  The nearest demons sensed her and broke off from their targets towards them.

“Taika, stay still.” She rasped.

Having hardly the strength to lift her arm Taika braced her at the elbow.  Moving behind her now he had his arm around her chest holding her tightly to him to keep her standing.  Doing this in plain sight was dangerous but if she was going to live to see this Breach she needed their strength. She waited for the nearest to come within arm’s reach, off the side she heard someone cry out but she tuned them out, instead focusing on the demon and Taika’s steady breathing behind her.

A brilliant flash of blue light as she summoned the spirit.  It devoured the nearest demons sending its life-force into her and moved to the second.  After the third demon she was standing on her own though still breathing heavy. _More_ …For once she agreed with the spirit allowing it to manifest in her hands she pulled from Taika’s grip and lunged at the nearest demon with only her bare hands.  The soldier was more surprised by this demon devouring mage than the demon itself and half expected her to turn on him.  She spared him only a glance before moving onto the next demonic target. 

It was difficult to retain control, but she managed, the hunger was more _hers_ than the spirits.  Her soul hungry for what the mark was taking.  After she felled a fifth demon with her bare hands she stood before the Rift.  Ignoring the shouts of ‘abomination’ and ‘maleficarum’ she reached up and slammed the rift closed by closing her fist.

 “Sealed, as before.”  Solas said giving her a sidelong glance. “You are becoming quite proficient at this.”

“Let's hope it works on the big one.”  Varric commented.

 “Lady Cassandra, you managed to close the rift?  Well done.” 

Now that was a voice she hadn't heard in nearly a decade.  Turning from the sword she saw Cullen.  He looked mostly the same, older, wiser and far less troubled than went she'd last seen him.  The years had been kinder to him than her.  The years had made him ruggedly handsome. 

“Do not congratulate me, Commander.  This is the prisoner's doing.” 

Cassandra told him turning to her.  He would have been hard pressed not to recognize her especially after that display.  She was stilling breathing hard when he turned his stare on her.

“Cullen.”  She managed out between breaths, though the demons strength was surging through her it was quickly being consumed by the mark. “Taika!” she called wavering.

It was Cullen that caught her though. He’d been around long enough to recognize when someone was dying.  There was only silence between them as he kept her upright long enough for Taika to resume his position.

“Faith.”

“We’ll talk later.  If I don’t die first.”  She said trying her best to stand. “If I do…well you know it already.  No harm done.  One less blood mage.  Come on Taika before someone kills me before the Breach does.”

Cullen winced.  He deserved that blow after their last encounter even if he had been nearly a decade ago. He turned from her to address Cassandra. “The way to the Temple should be clear.  Leliana will try to meet you there.”

“Then we'd best move quickly.  Give us time, Commander.” 

* * *

 

Fortunately, the path was clear of demons which allowed her to gather strength.  The devastation that surrounded the temple was so profound that she could find no words to describe it even now.   Mummified corpses littered the blasted landscape. Their faces forever caught in expressions of pure terror and agony.  Faith had not realized that tears had begun to flow down her cheeks, the sting lost in the waves of exhaustion. She stopped when The Breach became all she could see in the sky.  Gazing up at the massive hole.  It was a hungry vortex whose insatiable hunger would swallow the world.

“The Breach _is_ a long way up.”  Varric commented also staring up at the Breach.

“You're here.  Thank the Maker.” 

Faith heard from behind them.  Leliana and her troops came had arrived.  Most gazing up at the Breach with fear in their eyes. Faith could not blame them for being afraid. She was also, but fear would not help her here.  She felt Taika’s grip on her tighten.  She reached up and patted his hand.

 “Leliana, take your men and set up around the temple.”  the Seeker commanded, then she turned to Faith “This is your chance to end this.  Are you ready?”

She nodded.  “Lead on, Seeker.”

“This rift was the first, and it is the key.”  Solas said assured “Seal it, and perhaps we seal the Breach.”

“Let's find a way down.  And be careful.”  The Seeker commanded.

Faith nodded and followed them down the blasted path to the temple. She kept tripping but Taika’s firm grip kept her from falling even if his fingers dug painfully into her side.  In the air above, them the Fade spoke of passing memories.  She knew not the voice and could barely understand the words because the sound of the Fade was so loud here, it was like static or many voice speaking at once. 

_Now is the hour of our victory._

_Bring forth the sacrifice._

They began speaking again asking about what they were hearing.  Faith was too focused on spirit static. Only the Fade's echo reached her clearly.  She was unsure why.

_Keep the sacrifice still._

_Some help me!_

“That was Divine Justinia's voice!”  The Seeker cried.

_Someone Help me!_

_What's going on here?_

Faith heard her voice there. She stopped and stared at the massive rift trying to understand, to remember something that she could not.

“That was your voice.  Most Holy out to you. But...”

They saw a vision from the Fade.  The divine being held by unseen bonds and a man veiled in darkness.  He called for her death and the Divine told her to run and warn them.  But Faith could remember it not. 

“You _were_ there!  Who attacked? And the Divine, is she...? Was this vision true?  What are we seeing?”  The Seeker asked a barrage of question, none of which she had answers for.

“I cannot remember, Seeker.” she could only shake her head.  She knew not.  Faith could not remember.

“Echoes of what happened here.  The Fade bleeds into the place.” Solas explained as they came closer to the Breach. “The Rift is not sealed, but it is closed... albeit temporarily.  I believe that with the mark, the rift can be opened, and then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side.”

“That means demons.  Stand ready!”  The Seeker shouted to her men.

When everyone was in position Faith stood underneath the massive rift.  She took a deep breath.  She would not have enough strength to close the rift and fight the demons that may come there. She could only hope that they were enough to protect her.

 Opening the rift was surprisingly easy.  It was opening a barred door into which the world was pushing from the other side.  The Pride demon stepped through effortlessly.  Its cackle echoing throughout the ruined temple. Faith heard the Seeker give the command to fight.  She pushed out all thoughts of the battle raging around her even as more demons poured through the rift.  Faith began to whisper the Chant of Light, focusing everything she had through her mark.  She felt Solas covering her in protective magic and hoped it would be enough. She was very glad that Taika was behind her, for without him she would have fallen. 

Holding her arms to the sky.  She whispered the Chant of Light, with every word pouring more and more of herself into the rift. Faith felt it shutter and pulse, disrupting and stunning the demons currently out here. When it shuttered she pushed harder and harder.  Faith could feel her mind failing as she pushed it harder and harder.  She could feel the crescendo of power building until it exploded in a blinding flash of light.  Faith saw the rift closed.  Darkness flooded her vision and the singing in her ears was deafening.  It was then she was certain that she was going to die.


	5. Waking up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith wakes up alive in Haven.

_I was so certain I was going to die or worse in my weakened state truly become possessed.  I didn't have the strength to make it into the chair that stood in the middle of the white room in my part of the Fade.  Grasping for it I caught the edge the third time.  The chair clattered to the ground when I tried to pull myself into the chair leaving me exhausted and gasping on the floor.  I could feel them clawing at the walls, looking for cracks in my will, and it was only a matter of time before they found a way in.  I could only hope they were fast enough to fell me before too many were hurt._

_Rolling onto my back I watched the wall.  Grains of mortar began falling to the ground.  A single brick wiggled free.  The first in a cascade that meant her doom.  I didn't have the strength to turn towards the bright flash behind my head though I did notice the runes on my arm flickering softly.  A warm, soft hand pressed onto my forehead.  The spirit hummed behind me lifting me effortlessly from the cold ground it paused long enough to spare a glance at the wiggling brick.  Nudging it back into place with its foot the spirit gently laid me in a bed.  The spirit remained on the edge of bed carding its hand threw my sweat soaked hair and smiling down at me softly._

_'Rest now, dear one.'_

_"...the...demons..." I gasped._

_'Another strengthens this place now.'_

_Behind the spirit sitting with me on the bed I could see Valor, clad in its best shining armor, standing guard by the door should any make it inside. Valor's glowing eyes glanced in her direction.  She could feel the concern radiating from the spirit. Even the spirit or demon of power hovered near me protectively.  Out of the shadows I saw the shadow of Urthemiel slithered out resting his draconian head on my stomach.  I must have been in bad shape for him to leave the shadows and stay in the light.  I knew it hurt him, I tried weakly to push him away back to the darkness, but he refused to go.  Instead I let my hand drop onto his muzzle._

_The only spirit to choose a male form was Fortitude, he knelt before the wiggling stones plastering mortar into the cracks.  We sat in silence for a long time.  My mind flickered in and out of awareness hovering somewhere between life and death, barely clinging on, when I slipped the spirits voice would call me back.  When I woke again the spirit was still sitting there wiping my face with a damp cloth._

_"The demons?"_

_'Gone to find an easier meal.'_

_"Easier than a dying mage?" I asked with a soft chuckle._

_The spirit smiled down at her. 'No dying yet dear one.' the spirit leaned in and kissed me softly on the mouth.  I felt her release a burst of energy into me.  I sighed against her mouth. 'Time to wake up.'_

 

* * *

 

Compared to the last time she woke up this morning was by far gentler.  It was cold in the room but she could hear the crackling of a fire nearby and the warmth of the weak winter sun on her face.  Even the hard mattress beneath her was a welcome sensation to the cold ground and unforgiving metal.  She heard to door open and the light footsteps of someone entering her room.  Faith was voraciously hungry and her stomach growled so loudly that is startled whomever it was.  The box they were holding crashed to the ground loudly and they soon after.

 “Oh! I didn't know you were awake I swear!”

“Neither did I until a moment ago.”  Rising from her bed Faith padded over to the kneeling elf and the upturned box.  Kneeling she began placing its contents back inside, breakfast by the looks of it.

“Where am I?” Faith asked cleaning up the last of the food. “I’m sure my stomach did not mean to frighten you.”

“I beg your forgiveness and your blessing. I am but a humble servant.” she cried pressing her forehead to the floor. “You are back in Haven, My Lady.”

“Haven?”  Faith asked more to herself than the girl.  “So, The Breach, its sealed?”

“They say you saved us.  The Breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand.”

Faith gazed at her hand.  She was correct.  The mark was still there, but it was not growing.  She could still feel it: like, like tiny needles in her skin. The mark itself no longer glowed like before but looked like she’d dipped her hand in black lacquer. Her fingers and palm were a deep black that faded to grey with dark veins running up her forearm.

“It’s all anyone has talked about for the last three days.”

“I have been asleep for three days?” Faith asked, though it was more a statement to herself than a question to the girl.

“The Breach is still in the sky, but that's what they say.”  she said rising quickly and backing towards the door. “I'm certain Lady Cassandra would want to know you've wakened.  She said, “At once.”

“Where is the Lady Seeker?”  Faith asked.

“In the Chantry, with the Lord Chancellor.  'At Once,’ she said” 

With that the elven girl all but fled leaving her alone in the room.  Faith sat there for several minutes taking in her surroundings. She was wearing little more than the bandages that the healers had bound her with covered in a blanket that was little more than a few Druffalo hides sewn together.  Running her fingers over the stitching, that someone had lovingly done once upon a time, Faith wondered if such joy still remained in the world.  Turning her attention to the room she noticed the little details of the cottage she was in and the slow realization dawned on her of exactly where she was.  Her stomach felt heavy.  She saw the slight color change where the floor boards had been replaced and the wall are painted. Where she knew a bloody alter once stood.  Where the inhabitants of Haven once sacrificed innocents to the High Dragon Cult that claimed this place.

Her fingers lingered over the scars from the fight with the High Dragon.  Fond memories of fighting beside Sten, Wynn and Alistair, before…before everything fell apart.  Throwing the blankets off planting her feet firmly on the ground she stood slowly, for the moment grateful to be alive. Someone had left some clothing for her.  It was folded neatly on a small desk near the east facing window.   Faith could see the pale sun rising over the mountains.  It cast pink and red shadows over the snow.  The clothing was a little worn and didn't fit quite right, but at least it was warm, dry and clean. 

Faith wandered through Haven towards the Chantry.  While not in a hurry to face judgment, she wished to know what was to be done with her.  It was odd seeing the gazes of those who wished for her death turn into smiles of hope and thanks.  How fickle the world was.  So quick to blame, to call for blood, and then forget that they wanted their savior dead.  Part of her urged her to be angry, to lash out, but she ignored it. 

* * *

 

Faith found Haven's apothecary first.  He gave her a sour expressive when she entered his cottage.

“Look who’s back from the dead.  Again.”

She gave him a curious stare.  He spoke with familiarity but she couldn’t place his face. The harshness of his voice gave her pause.

“I apologize if we have met before, I do not recall who you are.”

“I’d be surprised if you did.”  His sour façade broke and an amused chuckle found its way out of his mouth and quickly regained its sourness. “You weren’t particularly coherent. And someone had to patch you up after you staggered out of Maker-knows-where, though, so you’re welcome.”

“You have my eternal gratitude, sir.”  She replied smiling at him.

“Yeah, well.”  He paused taking her in. “You can pay me back by fixing the world.”

“I’ll get right on that.” It was Faith’s turn to chuckle. “My name is Warden-Comm- oh that doesn’t matter anymore.” She paused.   “Please call me Faith.”

“Um…well, name’s Adan.”  He replied after a long moment of silence.  Her smile was infectious, though it was brief, his sourness returning double fold. “I’m in charge of keeping our little band of misfits stocked with potions and elixirs, but Seeker Pentaghast doesn’t seem to care if we _actually_ have the materials to do that.”

“If there is any way I can help you, let me know, I’m no healer but I know a bit of healing magic.”  She offered. “Though I should be going, I’m sure the Seeker has been told that I’m awake and she’ll be wondering where I’ve gone off to. It was nice to meet you Adan.”


	6. Return to Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith is reunited with old friends from her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fear not I have not abandoned this story. I had to take a really, really, really long break to clear my head and get back into the game. Not sure how often I will be updating here, but enjoy this chapter for now.

 “Chain her.  I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial.” 

The chancellor demanded as Faith walked in the room. Halting where she stood, Faith looked between the chancellor, Cassandra, and the Templars behind her moving so that she could also see everyone in the room.

“Disregard that and leave us.”

Faith watched the Templars behind her carefully.  She hadn’t realized the tension she’s been holding until the armored men left the room.  Faith leveled a hard stare at the Chancellor with an unyielding gaze.  The Chancellor pointedly turned from her back to Cassandra, ignoring her presence in the room.

“You walk a dangerous line, Seeker.”  The sour man sneered at her.

  “The Breach is stable, but it is still a threat.  I will not ignore it.”  Faith found the confidence in her voice comforting. 

 “I poured everything I had into closing the Breach, “Faith explained “I held nothing back.”

“Yet you live.  A convenient result, insofar as you're concerned.”

“It is not convenient.  I am exceedingly hard to kill, Chancellor.  The Crows failed.  Loghain and half of Ferelden failed.  An Archdemon and a horde of Darkspawn, also failed.”  Faith told him which only made him frown more.

“Enough!”  Cassandra barked at her, harsher than she had intended but it got their attention. “Have a care, Chancellor.  The Breach is not the only threat we face.”

“My apologies, Lady Seeker.  I should not antagonize him.” Faith could see Leliana's smirk from where she stood watching the Chancellor swallow what Faith was throwing at him.

“Someone was behind the explosion at the conclave.  Someone Most Holy did not expect.” Leliana explained. “Perhaps they died with the others – or have allies who yet live.”

“ _I_ am a suspect?”  he asked incredulously.

“You, and many others.”

“But _not_ the prisoner?”  he asked. 

Faith looked up at him.  She could tell that he was afraid.  They all were. The death of the Divine left a huge void in them all.  The runes on her arm warmed.  He was a good man.  A good man who was afraid and doing his best to be brave.  Without thinking Faith began to rub her arm finding comfort in the warmth the runes provided. 

“I heard the voices in the Temple.  The Divine called to her for help.” Cassandra told him.

“So, her survival, that _thing_ on her hand – all a coincidence?”

“Providence.  The Maker sent her to us in our darkest hour.”

“It is heartening to hear that someone believes I am innocent.”  Faith commented. “I was starting to get the feeling that I'm not wanted.”

“I was wrong.”  she admitted “Perhaps I still am.  I will not, however, pretend you were not exactly what we needed when we needed it.”

“The Breach remains, and your mark is still our only hope of closing it.”  Leliana told her.

“This is _not_ for you to decide.”  The Chancellor barked again. 

“You what this is, Chancellor?”  Cassandra asked dropping a book on the table before her with a heavy **thud**.  “A writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act.  As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn.  We will close the Breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order.  With or without your approval.”  she told him firmly advancing on him, when she was finished he fled the room.  Faith watched the encounter with a great deal of sympathy for the man’s position.     

 “This is the Divine's directive:” Leliana explained “Rebuild the Inquisition of Old.  Find those who will stand against the chaos.  We aren't ready.  We have no leader, no numbers, and now no Chantry support.”

“But we have no choice:  We must act now.  With you at our side.”  Cassandra said looking at Faith. 

“I told you that I would stand and fight this thing.  I need not be asked twice. I have given my life in service to all peoples of Thedas.”  Faith told Cassandra.  “What is the Inquisition?”  she asked Leliana.

“It preceded the Chantry: people who banded together to restore order in a world gone mad.” 

“After, they laid down their banner and formed the Templar Order.  But the Templars have lost their way.”  Cassandra explained. “We need those who can do what must be done under a single banner once more.”

“And now without the Chantry.  Do we need their support?”  she asked.

“The Chantry will take time to find a new Divine, and then it will wait for her direction. “Leliana explained.

“But _we_ cannot wait.  So many Grand Clerics died at the Conclave... No, we are on our own.  Perhaps forever.”

“This may start a Holy war.”  Faith commented out loud, though it was supposed to be an inside thought. “As a Warden I was supposed to stay away from taking sides.  Well, no more orders from Weisshaupt I'm pretty sure they think I'm dead.”  she mused to herself.

“We are already at war.  You are already involved.  Its mark upon you. Whether or not the war is Holy... that depends on what we discover. “Cassandra stared at her hard and asked after Leliana had left to find the others. “Are you really _her_?”

“You don't believe Leliana, Lady Seeker?”  Faith asked looking from Cassandra to the Sister. “I am here, and I have the mark. Whether I am or not is irrelevant now.”

“I suppose you are right.” 

* * *

 

Later that day Faith stood quietly in the war room taking in her surroundings while absently rubbing her hand.  She had been called here to meet the others involved in the Inquisition as it was.  She was looking forward to it. It was yet to be seen if it would be wise to reveal _what_ she was.  Leliana certainly hadn't told anyone else.

“Does it trouble you?” she asked.

“It is not spreading, and the pain...I can deal with it. “Faith said shaking her arm in hopes of getting the tingling to go away, it did not.

“We take our victories where we can.”  she replied a touch of warmth in her voice.

“I take being alive a victory.”  she said with a small smile reaching up to rub the scars that marred her face.  The mark made them tingle.    

 “What is important is that your mark is stable, as is the Breach.  You've given us time, and Solas believe a second attempt might succeed – provided the mark has more power.  The same level used to open the Breach in the first place.  That is not easy to come by.”

“Sounds like you have a plan.”

“We do.” she turned as the door opened and a group of people entered. “May I present Commander Cullen, Leader of the inquisition's forces.”

Faint looked up and smiled.  She required not introduction for this man. She knew who he was.  They had lived together in the Circle Tower for many, many years and had been good friends. 

“It was only for a moment on the field.” he cleared his throat.  “I'm pleased you survived. “

“Truly?”  Faith asked ignoring everyone else in the room at the moment. **_Ahem_**. Cassandra made a sound to get their attention. “Forgive me Lady Seeker.  You were introducing me to our comrades.”

“This is Lady Josephine Montilyet, the Inquisition’s Ambassador and chief diplomat.”

“I’ve heard much about you.”  she smiled holding her stack of parchments close. “It’s a pleasure to meet you at last.”  Faith nodded.

“And of course, you know Sister Leliana.”

“How could I forget.” 

Faith replied vaulting over the table, ignoring the surprised gasps of the others in the room, and wrapping Leliana in a hug.  Leliana was the only person in the room whom hadn’t been taken by surprise and pulled the warden in tightly to her chest.  Faith buried her nose inside her white hood drinking in the scent of her friend.  It was the most relaxed Cassandra had ever seen Leliana resting her head on the Heralds. 

She heard the other shuffle around her, but she didn’t care.  Finally stepping back Faith smiled at the sister just before pressing their foreheads together with her hands on Leliana’s cheeks.

“I never thought I’d feel you again.”  Faith whispered quietly.  “Lost forever in a fog of apathy.”

“However, this is possible I thank the Maker.”  Leliana said softly.  “We have work to do my friend and the War Room is not the place for this, no?”

Looking over her shoulder Faith couldn’t help but smile at the mess she’d made of the table.  Pieces scattered all over the map and a few on the floor.  Cullen awkwardly replacing the pieces on the table.

* * *

 

“Faith, a moment.” 

Cullen called as the advisors filled out of the War Room. Turning to face her with her good eye.  He had a hard time making eye contact with her.  Not surprising given the circumstances of their last encounter. 

“Shall we take a walk?”  Faith asked. “You can show me around Haven.”

He nodded.  Finding his voice difficult to find they walked mostly in silence through the camp until they found themselves on the shores of a frozen lake.  Faith sat down on the edge of the dock watching the sun glitter off the ice covering the lake.

“I – I...” he started a few times but never did finish.  “How is this possible?”

“You know me.  Always around for trouble.”  Faith wanted to use some levity to lighten the tension. “After I asked the Queen to give the Ferelden's Circle independence I kept in contact with First Enchanter Irving.  I will always be part of the Circle and I wanted it to succeed.  When one of my Warden's disappeared, I tracked him to Kirkwall.  I did my best to avoid you.” 

She saw him wince again clenching his jaw.  She couldn't be sure what he was angry at, himself or her. When he didn't say anything, she continued.

“I meant…I heard that they had made you Tranquil.”

“Arl Howe.”  Her voice emotionless. “He did, with the help of a Seeker, I can’t remember his name.  He was gone before Sten found me in Fort Drakon.” She paused. “You can come sit.  I’m not going to bite you.”

She heard him laugh nervously behind her, but he did move to sit next to her on the edge of the dock.  He tensed up when she leaned against his shoulder.  The furs he wore to stay warm were nice against her face.

“The Arl hoped that making me Tranquil would break me.” She felt him tense again when she began to speak again.  “He never understood oaths.  It was all he left me with.   My duty to Thedas.  In many ways it made my job easier.  No emotions to get in the way of making the decisions that needed to be made.”

“I heard you let Loghain live.”

“It was most logical course of action.”  She explained. “With only three Grey Warden left in Ferelden and neither having any military experience bringing him into the Grey Wardens was the only acceptable course of the action.  We _needed_ him.  Alistair didn’t see it that way.”  She sighed. “He said I betrayed him by letting a murderer live and giving him a place among us, but it is what Duncan would have done.”

Cullen found it surprisingly easy to fall back into the friendship they shared in the Circle, wrapping his arm around her as he would have done when he was young. 

“I watched him turn his back on me without feeling anything. I guess it effected Loghain more than anyone ever thought because ironically it was him that stayed by my side until he was reassigned to Orlais.”

“Loghain?”  the surprise in his voice was not unexpected.

“He felt responsible for my state, even if he hadn’t known what Arl Howe was doing, he was still accomplice to his crimes by association.”  She smiled at the memories. “He is an amazingly gentle man once the walls are down.  He made sure I ate regular meals, had nice clothes otherwise I simply would have just worn my armor, and that others didn’t take advantage of my state of mind. He didn’t want to leave me, but Taika assured him that he would care for me.”

A silence comfortably silence settled between them.  There was still so much that needed to be said but at the moment both of them were content to just enjoy each other’s company.   

 “I am glad you survived.”  Cullen said finally breaking the silence.

There was so much left unsaid, but she did not feel it wise to question it.  This was tense enough without bringing up other details.

“Are you glad to be back in Ferelden?  It has been a long time. Ten years, right?” she asked changing the subject.

“Yes, ten years...I was not sorry to leave at the time.  I did not expect to return.  Now – Between the Divine's death and The Breach – I have arrived to find nothing but chaos.” 

“That makes two of us.” 

She felt bittersweet memories surfacing.  Screams and blood.  Swords and fire.  Closing her eyes tight she willed it to go away.  When she stopped he did as well, turning to look back at her.  There was a look of concern on his face.  She couldn't see it, but she could feel it.

“Are you, all right?”  he asked sounding genuinely concerned.

“Yes.”  Faith tried to smile but it was a strained one.  “Memories unbidden.  I remember everything was crystal clarity, everything except how this happened.  What was Kirkwall like?”  she asked.

“While I was there, Qunari occupied and then attacked the city, the viscount's murder caused political unrest...relations between mages and templars fell apart, an apostate blew up the Chantry, and the Knight-Commander went mad.”  he said in one breath, she could hear the sarcasm there. “Other than that, it was fine.”

It made her laugh.  “Sounds positively awful.  What did you do during the Templar-Mage conflict?” 

“You were at the Conclave, certainly you heard people talking.”

“I am not one for gossip, Cullen.  You _were_ there.”  she explained to him.  “What was your part in it?  I did not have a chance to speak with you while I was there.”

He sighed “There was tension between Mages and Templars long before I arrived.  Eventually, it reached a breaking point. There was fighting in the streets.  Abominations began killing both sides.  It was a nightmare.” she nodded while he spoke she'd heard the screams in her dreams during that time.

“What happened then?”

 “The Templars should have restored order, but the red lyrium had driven Knight-Commander Meredith mad. She threatened to kill Kirkwall's Champion, turned on her own men.  I'm not sure how far she would have gone.  Too far.”

“You stood against her, then?” 

“I stood with the Champion against her.  In the end.  But I should have seen through Meredith sooner.”  She could hear how ashamed he felt for it.

“She was your commander.  You trusted her.  Don't blame yourself so much.”

She reached over and squeezed his have.  Even now after all these years she still saw him as a friend.  It gave him pause but he continued.  

“She nurtured my anger towards mages.  Kept me in dark of any orders that I would question.  I was only too happy to keep all mages locked up, but I was reasonably sure that they were treated fair.”  He sighed and ran his hand over his face and hair “I am not proud of the man that anger made me.”

“We all have done things we are not proud of, Cullen.”  Faith said softly looking at him “The past is that, the past.  What matters is what you choose to be.”

He gazed at her.  So many things were written in his face.  Pain, anger directed inwardly, regret, caution.  He was unsure of what to think about her.  Faith smiled at him which just added confusion in the mix as well.  Why was she not angry with him? 

“I should get back to the camp...There is so much – “he was stumbling over his words again, but he at least felt a little more comfortable with her and that made him more nervous than anything.

“Go on then, I can find my way back from here.”


End file.
